The last couple weeks topics of fear and bravery have come up in conversations. I find that they surface every few years in particular but perhaps it’s the last couple years that have taught us so much about ourselves and the importance of the ”real stuff that matters". Folks are pushing for change but don't know where to start.
For definition sake, lets look into: Fear, Bravery, Courage and Strength and each has a few variables, but for "life/habit change perspective", here are some short examples.
Fear is defined as an unpleasant emotion surrounding a belief that someone or something is dangerous, also, a potential threat that could cause discomfort or pain. As a verb, it's also to be afraid of someone or something.
Bravery and Courage are often used interchangeably but they actually have two different definitions. A brave person sees something dangerous and reacts without thought whereas a courageous person, sees the situation and acts regardless of fear.
Strength as a noun is being strong; i.e.: lifting weights builds muscle and thereby strength increases. We have an emotional and mental strength too and like muscles that build physical strength, our emotional and mental strength builds after experiencing and dealing with situations and events that cause fear.
I've learned through my own personal life experiences that it's through the tough times we grow; but they don't feel good in the moment, do they?
How many times have you been knocked down? Likewise, how many times have you experienced someone else's hardships and taken them as warnings or even stop signs for your own experiences?
Don't misinterpret me, I'm not saying run blindfolded through a busy highway for thrills and experience nor partake in a Tide type challenge. ...but I'm going to challenge you with a perspective change that has worked for me over the years and for many others I've assisted.
First: Ask yourself; " Have I reviewed the outcome of someone's "bad" situation or "mistake" and judged them or the situation or even taken the experience as a life lesson of my own? i.e.: Damn, look at Joe! I'll never do that!
Second: How many times have you been told; "it's impossible", spoken the words to yourself and/or given the "advice"?
Isn't it interesting why we don't ask ourselves why we are so committed to certain behaviors and thought processes?
Let me share something with you; a little secret that is if you dare to ask yourself to ponder this perspective. What if there are no mistakes? What if "it's impossible" says more about another' person's limiting beliefs than your own?
How many times have you gotten up after falling? Please add all the times too that you fell learning to walk, learning to ride a bicycle or ice skating because they too contributed to your strength today and deserve recognition regardless how small they were. How far have you come since then? What did you learn?
I like to use the term learning opportunities opposed to mistakes. I prefer a mindset of gratitude. This doesn't mean that I live in a bubble of blindness but I certainly don't live my life based on the personal life experiences and chapters of others. Why? …because I walk in my own shoes. My muscles are my own to grow and flex and I inspire others to do the same too.
I'm grateful for all my learning experiences in life; every single one has brought me to today (including difficult relationships as well - stay tuned ;) a future blog topic! )
If you are someone who is looking for change and you feel stuck and fearful, I'd like to encourage you to look at life with a new set of eyes; even if only for a few minutes a day. Start with a thank you ; and begin your day with gratitude.
Next time something feels overwhelming or you are feeling fearful, ask yourself if you'd like to build strength in that area. If your answer is yes, pause. Become the wisdom behind your emotions for a brief second. Acknowledge the fear and have a moment of gratitude for it (it's teaching you something). Ask yourself if your fear is a limiting belief that you've created for yourself or if it came from someone else's experience. Then, ask how realistic is the fear? Often times the fear of the fear is bigger than the experience itself.
Think: one thought at a time, one task at a time, one day at a time if you must …
Break down the big picture or situation for change and create one manageable goal and begin with that.
Remember, this isn't your dress rehearsal life! You deserve to be living your best life and to find joy, blessings and happiness in every day!
Some helpful tips:
When receiving advice that seems limiting, politely say, "That's an interesting perspective"
(and perhaps you'll like to silently conclude to yourself, "that may be your truth, but it's not mine").
Learn to say, "No thank you" That's a full sentence btw and requires nothing more unless you choose to offer more.
Instead of saying, "I can't do that", add yet …i.e.: "I can't do that yet" and remember, everyone experienced was also once a beginner.
Respond with, "This doesn't fit into my personal life goals, I'll pass thank you".
Speak self love ;"I deserve to be happy and fulfilled." "I can do this."
Remind yourself that age is a number but it doesn't measure potential.
I believe that your vibe attracts your league. What does this mean? Our energy, who we associate with, our mindsets magnetize those along the same frequencies. When we push to change and grow, when we follow our intuition, and get moving, gates open, communication occurs, networking organically happens, opportunities are presented that perhaps weren't on the radar before, and, and, and …
There's a quote that screams truth: "doing the same thing day after day and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity."
We are all able to grow and change. In fact I'd even say that it's a necessity in life. Some people need a little longer or a bit more care; it's all good though!
My advice: Write down your vision or your goals. You can't just have them in your head. Break them down and hold yourself accountable or ask a buddy to work with you. Recognize that we all change and so can our visions as we become stronger so be dedicated to your mission and goals but be flexible about your methods. Remember, when the gates open, amazing opportunities are presented!
Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow.
Lastly: Don't suffer alone. Fears and anxiety can be an issue requiring more than just a blog spot, goals and inspiration. Please seek professional self help care if needed for your own personal well-being. No one should ever feel ashamed to ask for support.
Are there further topics you'd like to dive into? I have a few planned, but I'd love to hear from you! Follow me on IG to be kept in the loop and always feel free to DM me.
Blog Spot Pep Talk with Jen
In this ever busy world of noise and chatter, lets connect deep to your inner you! Do you know what makes you tick? Do you have personal goals? Are you frustrated easily with yourself and/or others? You know that you have a life purpose but don't know where to start? I don't promise to have solutions for you; but I hope to provide you with next step thoughts and inspiration to live your non-dress rehearsal life!